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Opinion: The Sad Truth About living in country where femicide is the norm #RIPNelliTembe

When I heard the sad news that the fiance of AKA Nelli Tembe I was very upset and disappointed and shocked. However this is no surprise because we live in country were femicide is the norm, you don't have to be a feminist or an activist to acknowledge this. Gender based violence is terrible in this country and in this story I will tell a story about how men are the problem when it comes to it and what they can learn from it.

A few years ago I witnessed a horrific incident where a man was abusing a women physically and emotionally. What was sad about this whole situation was that the man who was harimg her was her father. How the whole situation went down, was that the school she attented reported and called her father on some disciplinary matter. Apperently she was having sexual intercourse on the school premise. A few hours later the father made to the school and met the principal. After school we saw her running away very fast and she was crying. The minute we look as to who was chasing her we see that it was her father chasing her with a belt. He started beating her like how a police officer would beat a criminal. Most of the people who witnessed this were boys, and a few male teachers. Now of course the girl was or may have been wrong, and her father was punishing her like how every parent would, the problem is they did it in public. He was man handling her like a dog, he called all sorts of names like a prostitute and a whore. It got so bad that the young girl started to bleed through her nose. He then grabbed by her head put her in the car and then drove off.

The main problem is that at the time we did not know was going on, but this is South Africa, we see women get humilated in public a alot. From Taxi Ranks to Schools and in Night Clubs, the perpetrators more often than not are men. We see this and yet we don't reprimand these men or even check them when they mistreat women like this. Now as parent you always check that your child id not doing anything that may get them in trouble, you must discipline them, but at the same time you don't want be too harmful towards just so they can learn a lesson. However as a man, I don't care who you are, you should never put use force on a women when you punish bad behaviour even if it's justifiable. I say this from a South African perspective. Women in this country face a lot of violence, whether it is abuse or murder. With regard to the whole situation of Nelli Tembe, it let's us know what are as a country. As men we should be better at treating women as well as protecting them. I understand that some of us don't want to put ourselves at harms way, but if you think about that is was true masculinity is all about. If some man is harrassing your girlfriend or female friend or family, are just going to stand there or be assertive and do something about it?

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AKA

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