In personal relationships, men are typically hesitant to discuss their deepest wants.
Men (who tend to be the less talkative partners in intimate relationships) are prone to silently suffering when their emotional needs aren't met by their partners, whether it's due to social conditioning or an inability to convey our demands.
Whether you're a guy or a woman reading this, you'll have a better understanding of yourself and your spouse, as well as what your/their requirements are in your intimate connection.
Let's stop the useless fights caused by miscommunication, the sexless nights, and the vocal shut-downs.
After reading these suggestions, I guarantee you'll never look at your relationship the same way again.
In a relationship, there are seven things that all men require.
1. Acknowledgement and Approval
Men's egos are notoriously fragile.
We need to be reassured about ourselves, our professional prospects, our effectiveness as partners, our sexual prowess, and our attractiveness on a regular basis (among other things).
Every month, I hear from dozens of male clients who say that their partners rarely tell them what they enjoy about them.
While it's true that males require less frequent verbal appreciation than women, this isn't the type of gesture that necessitates keeping track. Why not have more of what you already have?
So, girls, let your adoration fly. Tell your partner just what it is about him that you find appealing. Let him know which of his physical characteristics you admire the most. When he says something a certain manner, accomplishes something, or takes you out on a date, tell him how appealing you find him. Your compliments will not make him arrogant; instead, they will make him feel appreciated.
Plus, the more you laud his excellent qualities, the more you'll notice them.
2. Emotional Intimacy
From a very young age, men are taught to avoid appearing weak at all costs. Complaining, disclosing anxieties or concerns, and showing self-doubt or worry are all examples of perceived "weakness."
A man's relationship is a safe haven for him to collapse. He can reveal the flaws in his armour, allowing his partner to assist him in healing.
Men open up emotionally over time in the same way that women do sexually in a relationship.
When he first cries in front of you, he wants to make sure you aren't repulsed or react badly. He will no longer trust you with his feelings if you push him away or are unable to be caring when he needs it the most. He will take a step back from the connection.
In this case, both parties lose: he continues to suffer silently, believing that he is faulty in his flaws, while she remains emotionally distanced.
3. Physical Contact
Men require both non-sexual and sexual touch on a regular basis.
When a man's spouse comes up behind him and lovingly strokes his neck and hair while he is engrossed in a work, he may feel just as loved as if they had just had penetrative intercourse (even more so, depending on his mood).
This touch is taken as physical love, with the message "I love you and want you to be happy all of the time." Know that I'm always here for you and that I genuinely care about you.”
In a relationship, both men and women are drawn to certainty. The more a man believes his partner is committed to him for the long haul, the more willing and able he is to open up to her (assuming he is equally invested in her).
However, security entails more than just the idea that you would not abandon him. Several of these points are linked to his sense of security. He is at ease knowing that you approve of him and his current position in his career. When you touch him non-sexually throughout the day, he feels safe and appreciated. When he's able to have his guys' nights away from you and you don't have to phone or contact him every half hour to check in, he feels safe.
Deborah Tannen, an author, has brilliantly written about the masculine and feminine divide between independence and intimacy (masculine being primarily drawn towards independence and the feminine toward intimacy).
I routinely observe the feminine-associated female partner wanting more time together and the masculine-associated male partner desiring more time apart in all of my couples and the great majority of my clients. There is no such thing as a perfect equilibrium in this situation. It will always be a delicate balance of closeness and separation.
However, stifling a man (either by refusing to give him free time or by being extremely jealous) is the quickest way to destroy a relationship. In a relationship, men require breathing room. To feel fulfilled, we need time for our interests, time with our friends, and time to work on our projects.
When women (or their feminine linked partner) wanted to address a problem in the past, they would reach out to their tribe, interacting with close friends and family and sharing their problems. Men, on the other hand, would leave the group to be alone with their thoughts when they had an issue to solve.
So give him free reign. Allow him to take a deep breath. Allow him to be on his own. When a man returns, he will be even pleased to see you, knowing that you trust him and the depth of your bond enough to give him his space.
Respect is regarded by men as a form of affection.
He will have a hard time trusting and loving you if he believes you disapprove of him, his career, or the things he considers to be fundamental to who he is as a person.
“How can she truly want what is best for me if she doesn't respect who I am at my core?” the thought process goes.
If a man's spouse does not appreciate his life path or objective, he will struggle to feel anything other than a desperate need to distance himself from her.
7. A Sensation Of Sexual Attachment
Both men and women connect through sex and communication, although women connect better through communication while men connect better through sex in general.
Does this imply that in order to feel connected, males must have sex with their intimate relationships every day? Certainly not.
Men connect more often than not through markers of sexual access, just as they do with sex.
Please allow us to explain...
A man will frequently initiate sex only to make sure you are still sexually accessible. So, to my man-loving readers out there, if he reaches across the bed for you, simply embracing him, kissing him deeply, and romantically engaging him could be enough to make him feel loved (not that the follow-through isn't fun).
This lack of understanding about the need for women to connect through words and men to connect through sex can lead to an unhappy and rapid downward spiral. She won't open sexually with him until she feels connected to him, but he's having trouble communicating with her because they haven't been physical in days.
To avoid these inadvertent standoffs, talk to your partner and find out what makes them feel the most loved.
What Men Are Looking For In A Relationship
So, how do you fare in your partnership?
Do you, as a male reading this, believe that all of your wants have been met? Is it possible to ask your partner to do something different? (Could you please forward her this article?)
If you're reading this and you're in a relationship with a man, how could you love him any more deeply? Which of these aspects of your relationship could you improve?
Allow this article (and its female counterpart) to serve as a springboard for a conversation between the two of you. Even if you don't agree with every point made, let this article start a conversation about your relationship's requirements.
On the feminine side, there were multiple instances of the word blame in the overwhelming response to this piece. Defiant and enraged cries reverberated over the internet (“It isn't all men's fault!”).
This isn't about assigning blame, finding fault, or pointing fingers at anyone. This is about loving people in the most loving way possible and starting a conversation about emotional needs in partnerships.
Content created and supplied by: Brahector10 (via Opera News )