This is a very interesting post, or a very interesting topic that we have to contemplate on, but it is not the topic itself that captured my heart. There is a comment below there, that have really spoken something tangible.
There's a person who commented and say that, "person should not be looking for logic, but should be looking for peace of mind. Other people are saying, "the person is divorcing with his wife, but not divorcing the kids.
This is something that a lot of African people have believed for quite a long time. Not just African men, but even African ladies. They will stay in marriage for the sake of the children. They will endure abuse for the sake of the children, and at the end of the day they die young of the diseases that are caused by stress, just because they could not have that peace of mind.
What people need to know is, children are very important in the marriage, but before children came, the two of you met, and when you met there are things that made you two love each other. If those things are no more in any one of you, the things that you loved about your man no more there, the things that you loved about your wife are dead, you realise that you are now pretending to be in love with the same woman, the same man for the sake of the children.
I know that love is not everything, but then where two are suppose to spend the rest of their lives together, it matters a lot. Where there is no love, there is no honesty, where there is no love, there is no loyalty, where there is no love, there is no truth. If there is no love it is only the opposite of it, for there is a thin line between love and hate. You can't be in between.
So I think that people should pursue peace of mind rather than logic. I know that separation traumatizes the kids, but at the end of the day it is you who needs to be happy. The pain of enduring a toxic marriage is more damaging than the pain of separating from your kids. The pain of staying is more damaging than the pain of leaving.
This is what a lot of people need to understand. Do what makes you happy, follow your heart. You don't want to be in a situation where you end of poisoning each other, just because one of you wants to get out or killing each other for insurance money. It is now what one of you stands to gain, not love.
"A man divorces a wife.. with three children.. and marries another woman with two children... balance me?"
~Maponga Joshua III
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