Parenting isn't perfect. My father is a human being. I learned many lessons from him. It's true that some things, like the ones I discussed here, are pure gold. Some of those have taken me a lifetime to unlearn. In the end, he did his best, which is all anyone can hope for. As a gift from my father, here are three gold pieces.
1. Being alone is better than being with the wrong people.
Taking this one to heart much earlier in life would have been beneficial to me. While in high school, he cautioned me about making friends. Choose your friends carefully, he said. Even as a teenager, I couldn't imagine anything worse than being alone. Humans are very sensitive to that kind of feeling. Our connection is wired. I don't want to be alone. During my early adult years, after being in an abusive marriage for seven years, I realized the value of his message. There is no point in being with someone who is not right for you than to be alone. If you don't like being with people who are down on you, it's better to be alone. It is better to be alone than to be with someone who demeans and puts you down. It's not the worst thing to be alone. It is very important to me these days to spend time with people who are compatible with me. During a mentoring session, one of my mentors told me I am the average of the five people I spend most of my time with. Consequently, people, I allow into my life are chosen with care these days.
2. You must take care of yourself because no one else will
I wish I had taken this advice sooner. As a result of my difficulty ending things with my first girlfriend, she told me this. Boundaries were incredibly difficult for me to implement. Never have I stood up for me. As a doormat, I was useless. As a parent, I imagine this was frustrating. It must have been even more frustrating to watch since I took his advice years later. My self-care is improving, though. Boundaries are important to me. I occupy a lot of space. My requests are based on what I need. No longer do I wait for someone to "rescue" me. My life is my responsibility.
3. You have to do what you have to do
The advice was never spoken but lived. My father started an automotive business when I was in high school. He was getting ready to open his shop when something went wrong. I can't recall what went wrong. He would stay until the early hours of the morning fixing whatever he was working on, then go back to his shop and work all day. I relate so much to this as I start my own business. As a solopreneur, if you don't do it, it won't get done. You will not be rescued, so it's up to you. No matter what comes up, he taught me to be committed. Despite the difficulty, you have to do it. I learned not to quit even when it was hard. Even if those words never came out of his mouth, he taught me all those things.
Your dad taught you some valuable lessons. Please let me know what lesson you value most.
Content created and supplied by: marriedBOY (via Opera News )