For some people, knowing how to be charming and likable comes naturally. But for some others, any conversation for over a few minutes ends up involving toe curls and awkward silences.
So what makes some people naturally warm? Are they lucky with the opposite sex? Or do they have something that you still don’t understand? Basically, they’ve learned how to be charming and mastered the art!
A charming person isn’t necessarily adored wherever they go, but they have the knack of just making others warm to them. It’s a way of being able to get along with others with ease. A charming person is relaxed about who they are and they know how to talk to people in a way that gets the best out of them.
It’s not magic, but it sometimes feels that way!
When you’ve spent time around a truly charming person, you’ll probably be caught up in their spell.
When you’re charming, you speak in a polite, positive, and kind way to those around you. It also means that you’re able to make them feel good about themselves simply by the way in which you speak.
In some ways, it’s also about how you hold yourself too. You have positive and open body language and you make other people feel at ease. You instantly connect with them, make them feel comfortable and want to relax and open up in your presence.
From these descriptions, you can see how it’s quite difficult at first to learn how to be charming, but it’s not impossible either! You simply need a little self-awareness and then learn how to tweak a few things.
How to be charming and liked by *almost* everyone
To have the ability to charm people or be liked by everyone *well, nearly*, you need to become a better conversationalist.
A true conversationalist knows the secret behind attracting attention and keeping people interested in the conversation. That’s the single easiest way to add charm to your personality because the rest will just come naturally as you gain confidence.
Use these tips on how to be charming and you’ll definitely be liked by almost everyone you meet.
1. How to be charming? Don’t be selfish!
When you’re talking to someone, don’t only talk about the things you know or like.
Start off by talking about something you know the other person would like. Only the charmers and smooth talkers know this fact. The start makes all the difference, and if you make someone feel like you genuinely care about their interests immediately, they’d be more open to listening to anything else you have to say as well.
To keep someone interested in the conversation, learn to build their excitement up by talking about things they like, and they’ll end up having a longer and happier conversation with you.
If you just stick to things you like and you have no idea if they’re on the same page as you, you run the risk of them becoming bored. You’re hogging the conversation and there’s nothing charming about that.
2. Make sure your smile is genuine
At first sight, a happy-to-see-you smile can make someone feel happy, comfortable, and relaxed. Then, they’ll want to talk to you.
Let your happiness be infectious to everyone around you. Don’t behave in a grumpy manner. Exude positive vibes and everyone else will feel uplifted after talking to you.
A genuine smile isn’t forced. Simply relax into the moment and think positive thoughts. Soon, your smile will reflect your inner calm.
3. Be comfortable in your own skin when learning how to be charming
When learning how to be charming, the most important thing is to be comfortable in your own skin. Don’t fidget around or shuffle your feet nervously. Relax and feel comfortable wherever you are.
When you feel comfortable and positive, your vibes will make the other person feel more comfortable alongside you. Don’t be fake and don’t try to be someone you’re not. Like yourself, and others will be charmed by your presence
4. Encourage them to talk
If you want to know how to be charming, the secret is in getting the other person to feel like they’re doing all the talking.
People like talking about things that revolve around their own lives. When you’re talking to someone, ask them about their day or recent activities. And be genuinely interested in what they have to say.
That doesn’t mean you have to fire question after question at them – you don’t want them to feel like they’re in a job interview!
But, simple questions that are open and require more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer will help the conversation to flow. Remember to give your answer too and it will feel like a two-way chat that charms the socks off the other person
5. Make others feel more positive
When you’re having a conversation with someone, compliment them about something you like, be it their clothes or their work. When you make the person you’re talking to feel positive and confident, they’ll enjoy talking to you more often. After all, you make them feel good about themselves.
Be gracious and yet sincere and people will love spending time with you.
But, that doesn’t mean throwing fake compliments out for the sake of it. It’s best to compliment someone on their personality or their interests rather than their looks if at all possible.
Sometimes it’s not possible, especially if you don’t know them too well, but be careful not to seem like you’re shallow and only about how someone looks on the outside.
6. Do a little flirting and flattering
Don’t be sexual or excessively flirty, or you’ll come off as an incessant flirt and that’s not at all charming!
A charming person is someone who makes everyone feel good about themselves after a conversation. Say good things about the person you’re talking with, without overdoing it. As long as you’re likable and warm, everyone else will enjoy a conversation with you.
7. Learn how to be charming by empathizing with them
Relate to the person you’re talking to. They’ll appreciate it and feel a lot better. Always try to relate to them by saying something similar that happened to you too, especially when it’s something painful or less flattering and embarrassing.
When you help people feel better about themselves, they’ll be grateful and find you a lot more charming and sweet.
But, empathy shouldn’t be fake. It’s a very fine line. If someone is telling you about what happened to them or how they feel, don’t interrupt. Let them talk. Nod along and make agreeable noises so they know you’re listening.
Also, don’t assume to know how they feel – let them tell you and then show your empathy.
8. Be enthusiastic and lively in the conversation
Listen to what the other person says and add your own details now and then. By doing that, you’ll find more things to talk about and come up with new and interesting conversation pointers all through the conversation.
Don’t ever look bored or you’ll end up hurting the other person’s feelings. That means avoiding fidgeting, looking away, sighing, and checking your phone. All major no-no’s!
9. Remember to maintain eye contact
The way you look at the person while talking to them can say a lot about you and the interest you have in the conversation. If you want to be charming and liked, open your eyes slightly wider than you normally would, and smile just a little bit like you’re filled with mild curiosity.
It reveals a sign of awe and deep interest – but don’t overdo it! The person you’re talking to will feel flattered and continue talking for as long as you seem fascinated by them.
Simple eye contact can be a real help when learning how to be charming in general. When you make regular eye contact, you’re showing that you’re paying attention and listening. But, that doesn’t mean staring!
10. Be pleasant in your voice and the words you choose
Don’t yell or speak rudely if you want to be charming. Good conversationalists speak softly, in a pleasant voice.
Unless you have no choice but to shout out to be heard when you’re in a group, be pleasant and focus more on your gestures and smile than anything else.
Avoid slang language, swearing, or sarcasm as these can all be misunderstood by the other person. You need to be clear if you’re going to learn how to be charming, not confusing to those around you!
11. Watch the signs
If someone feels bored, they might fidget or look around a lot. In that case, change the conversation to something else. It probably means they’re not interested in what you’re talking about.
You may think you’re being interesting, but if they’re showing these signs, it’s probably the opposite.
A conversation involves at least two people. If you want to have a charming conversation, both of you have to be interested in what’s being discussed.
12. The power of touch
Using careful and casual touch can do wonders in being likable and charming. Now and then, touch the person you’re talking to. It builds a better connection and brings both of you closer.
That doesn’t mean grabbing them or being inappropriate. It means a gentle nudge, a brush of the arm, a hand on the shoulder.
However, be sure to read their body language when you do this.
If they tense up, appear annoyed or upset, or move away from you, even slightly, don’t touch them again. Some people do not like to be touched by other people or just find it uncomfortable, and that’s something you need to respect.
By being able to read those signs and respecting their wishes without having to be told, you’re already learning how to be charming
13. Keep an eye on your body language
Your body language speaks for you, even if your words say something different. The person you’re speaking to is more likely to believe what your body is telling them rather than the words you choose. So, make sure that your body language is positive and open.
Don’t cross your arms over your body and don’t sit with your legs crossed. These are both examples of defensive body language.
Don’t fidget either, and make sure that you make regular eye contact. Keep your hands in your lap or by your side.
If you can, angle your body slightly towards the person you’re talking to. Also, when speaking, lean in just ever so slightly – but not too much!
14. Make sure you avoid being arrogant or over-confident
There is a fine line between learning how to be charming and being a little too much. If you’re over-confident or arrogant, you’re not going to find that people want to talk to you. If anything, they’ll avoid you!
Have some self-awareness and listen to what you’re saying and how you’re coming across. Be honest with yourself and if you feel like you’re trying too hard, pull it back a little.
Just be yourself, but a more charming version! That may sound difficult, but it’s actually easy. When learning how to be charming, you’re not changing who you are, you’re just tweaking a few things so that you make the other person feel comfortable.
Remember, it’s not about making yourself look better, it’s about making them feel better.
15. Know when to end the conversation
Don’t drag a conversation on forever, even if you think you have a lot of interesting things to say. Keep the talking balanced and make sure the person you’re talking to gets enough time to say what they want to say.
And if you ever feel like you’re running out of things to say, excuse yourself and tell them you need to be somewhere else – politely!
If you want to be charming, it’s always better to end a conversation earlier, in a happy way, than drag something to the point of boredom.
Conversations are like fine wine. They get better the longer you talk to each other. Once you speak well with someone, they’ll subconsciously start speaking to you more. In the end, you’ll have the perfect conversation.
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