There are many theories circulating on the causes of attraction. I discuss them in my eBook All my Single Ladies.
This article does not discuss the causes of attraction, but its importance and how it works for both men and women. I am not going to write an article proposing that there is a secret that women do not know about men when it comes to what makes a man feel it for a woman, because that would be false advertising.
The truth is, there is a common set of laws of attraction that apply to both sexes. Physical attraction is the premise of any relationship. We are primitive beings and without it in the long run we will not see the person we are with as anything other than a platonic friend.
Either he's been there from the start or he's not there at all. Physical attraction is not a creeping vine, it is something that we register or not. Another main law of attraction is that what we pursue will withdraw from us, and what flees will make us want to chase it even more. Crazy stuff, huh?
Not only that, but men love the hunt. The men delight in conquering and delighting the girl. It's their natural role to be the hunter - so let them do it. A man can sense when a woman is inside him, so let him decide if he wants to sue you.
I'm going to go over some common ways that women take advantage of their opportunities with the men they are interested in.
A woman will often try to persuade a man or convince him to be with her. She does this mainly by sharing her feelings for him with him and expressing how much she wants him to be with him in the hope that it will awaken the same feelings in him towards her.
While men do this too, don't get me wrong, my point is that the person being hunted has more power, because the decision is in her hands.
Thus, by persuading a man, not only does a woman cede her power to him, but she also runs after a man which makes him retract even more.
Essentially, persuasion doesn't just have the opposite effect of developing attraction - it actually reverses it.
2. Acts of service
A woman will often offer to do things to a man to show him how much she thinks of him. This could include buying him gifts or helping him with certain tasks, for example.
By doing such favors, she also hopes for reciprocal obligation. She wants him to imitate her behavior. She shows how she wants him to act.
Unfortunately, giving a man this way only makes him perceive a woman as needy or clingy. He can see that she is trying too hard bribing him for his affection, attraction and interest.
Again, negative attraction is the consequence of such selfless acts of kindness and worship.
3. Casual sex
I've saved the best for last. Many women leave him and continue having sex with a man because they think that doing so will generate attraction in him.
INCORRECT! A man can have a lot of casual sex with a woman and not feel the desire to connect or commit to her in any shape or form.
Don't confuse lust with an emotional connection. If a man only feels a physical attraction to you, he will go away as soon as you ask or imply that you want an exclusive relationship.
What is attractive to a man is a woman who has confidence in herself, knows what she wants out of life and pursues it. When you show that you are a valuable woman by having a life of your own, you make a man want to be a part of it.
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