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Why I dread being alone with my husband

KINGNEEZY
By KINGNEEZY | self meida writer
Published 17 days ago - 2127 views

When Tomas and I were first married he was so lovely. People said we were "couple goals" and friends told me they wished they could find someone as wonderful as he was.

But three years later, he's a different man and I absolutely dread being alone with him. He is very nice to me in front of other people, and he always has been. That's the reason why so many people looked at us as though we were the perfect couple. 

But if they knew how he treated me behind closed doors, they'd be horrified. My life with him is quite miserable, and I don't know what I've done to deserve him treating me badly.

It started when I had our first baby, he'd show me absolutely zero empathy – whether I was sleep deprived or battling with mastitis. He would call me "lazy" if I so much as sat down on the sofa with a cup of tea.

I've never been very good at standing up for myself, so I blame myself for accepting his bad treatment of me for so long. When I had trouble losing my pregnancy weight, he'd constantly point out my "flabby parts" and tell me to stop eating so much. It's only now that I realise I was eating a lot because I was so unhappy.

Also, I've read that when you're breastfeeding you have a bigger appetite than you usually do, for obvious reasons. I think it was very cruel of him to constantly point out that I had "muffin top" or that my jeans no longer fit me. 

Why would he do that? Why couldn't he just be proud of me being a first time mum and dealing with it as well as I thought I was doing.

Becoming a mum made me realise he had such a mean streak. It's like I can do nothing right and I really can't stand the person he has become. But, what really messes with my head is the fact that he is so nice to me around other people.

I've confided in my mum and my best friend and I know they believe me. But even they find it hard to believe that he could be so nasty to me, when he is so lovely to me in public.

I'm thinking I need to video him the next time he's awful to me so that I have proof. But I know the only way to improve the situation is by having a big talk to him, telling him that if he doesn't start to treat me well, then I will have no choice but to leave.

Content created and supplied by: KINGNEEZY (via Opera News )

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