When you tell someone you love them, do you have an expectation? Is it a friend, family member, or significant other? Do I have an expectation when I say, "I love you"?
One of the first dates I ever went on was with a non-rebound girl, remember her? Mpho. We had some funny, some serious, and some pointless conversations throughout the date. That's what I like about her the most so far. It struck me how similar our intellects and curiosity are, which brings me to the question "What do you expect to hear after telling someone you love them?"
As I stepped out of the downtown restaurant after getting drinks, she kindly asked me that question. I responded that it all depends on the individual. However, the topic was not about me, but about the majority opinion, and I was made to think about how I feel about that statement.
Now, let's fast forward to today
My relationship with love has changed tremendously following multiple heartbreaks from a single person, so I've learned to be alone and love it, and also to love myself first. I was loved without being loved. She loved what I did for her, but not for who I am. Love can manifest itself in controlling, manipulating, and abusing you. But that is not love. She loved what I did for her, but she did not love me.
I did not feel loved and I was not loved unconditionally. But is unconditional love always possible?
After years of conditional love, how am I supposed to feel love? I do not know how I am supposed to feel love. I know how I don't want to be loved, and I don't know what unconditional love truly is. And that scares me.
Love: a feeling of intense affection.
If I were to base my feelings solely on this definition, I would love so many people. Being in love, however, is very different. In my opinion, when you are in love, there is more than just affection. There is loyalty, trust, vulnerability, and so much more.
They say it slaps you in the face when you are in love, but how do I know I'm ready for love, having not experienced it in so long? How do I know I'm receptive to love when I've never been in love before?
How do you know you are in love? Let us know in the comments section below
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