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Is keeping secrets in a relationship worth it?

Is keeping secrets in a relationship worth it?

There is no harm in hiding one or two secrets from your partner, but when you lie often, it may genuinely hurt your health. People who lie often may have heartburn, panic attacks, and sleeplessness due to feelings of guilt and worry. Why do you hide secrets from your partner, anyway?

How big is your mistake that you want to cover it up with lies just to save your relationship? No matter how big or small your faults may be, keeping it a secret should never be an option, especially if you genuinely love your partner.

It’s okay if what you’re keeping from your partner is considered a white lie but if it’s something big and significantly affects your relationship, it’s just not worth it.

You’ll end up overwhelmed with guilt and shame. Not to mention, you’ll sabotage your relationship as a whole by keeping secrets.

The exceptions for keeping secrets in a relationship

While keeping secrets is never a good thing, there are particular exceptions when it’s okay. There are a few unspoken agreements where keeping secrets won’t cause the fall out of your relationship.

1. A surprise

We bet everyone loves surprises, especially when it’s a beautiful occasion you want to remember forever. Are you throwing a party or investing in an expensive gift? Then a secret is a-okay. Buying your partner jewelry, recreating your first date, planning a fun getaway are all good secrets in a relationship.

That is if your partner loves surprises. Keeping secrets in a relationship and hiding a surprise present for your lover is entirely different. So, no need to worry about keeping it a secret. : How to express your gratitude to someone you love]

2. A proposal

Asking her to be your girlfriend? Asking him to move in? Or are you proposing marriage? All of these are often secrets for a while. But what makes them suitable is that there is a plan for the secret to being exposed. And in most cases, the mystery leads to good news, not bad.

If you want to make this event memorable for you and your partner, put in all your efforts and ideas and observe their reaction. Keeping secrets in a relationship isn’t always bad if your intentions are pure, like proposing to your partner. How to pull off a memorable proposal]

3. What you talk to your friends about

Guys and girls alike have conversations with their friends that often do not need to get back to their partners. It isn’t that this knowledge would cause a fight, but just as you and your partner have privacy from others, you and your friends deserve that too.

Yes, keeping secrets in a relationship may be harmful. While this is true for most conversations with your friends, there are few exceptions, particularly regarding topics reserved for female discussion.

You may complain about your husband’s snoring habits to your girlfriend or your brother about your girlfriend’s movie-watching habits. These things might be irritating in a relationship, but they are so minor that venting to a close friend can help. What to talk about with friends and ask the questions most ignore]

4. How do you feel about their family

This one can be touchy. You do not have to share your feelings about your in-laws with your partner. If it becomes severe and needs to change, by all means, talk. But if you don’t like your boyfriend’s mom’s cooking or her need to organize your cupboards, you can probably put up with that during a visit.

However, if your mother-in-law insists on moving in, contacting you often, or asking about your sex life, you should speak to her. But holding your mouth for minor issues may help. If you get to know someone well, the good may outweigh the negative.

Keeping secrets in a relationship, like how you feel about your partner’s family, is still up to you. Sit down with your partner and speak about it when the time is right. signs it’s time and ways to prepare your partner to meet the parents]

5. External secrets

Your partner does not need to know about your buddies’ pacts or secrets. Just as you and your spouse have secrets, it’s pointless to share topics unrelated to your relationship.

One of the most incredible things about keeping secrets in a relationship is that certain things aren’t worth talking about or worrying about.

Your lover does not need to know if your closest buddy confided in you about anything serious. Sharing your life does not obligate you to disclose everything. unspoken rules all couples need to follow]

6. You have an innocent little crush

Even if you’re in a relationship, you may enjoy seeing your neighbor jog past or talking about mid-20th century fiction with the gorgeous young clerk at the bookshop.

We all have these hidden desires, and they’re harmless—unless they begin to dominate your thoughts or emotions, threatening your mutual trust. In other words, keeping secrets in a relationship, like having a crush on someone, is acceptable as long as you don’t act on it.

7. That one embarrassing moment from your past

Everyone has done something they’d want to forget, whether it was a disastrous romance, an unfulfilling career path in which they failed horribly, or even the time they sang lead in a dreadful Go-tribute Go’s band.

Keeping secrets in a relationship like this should not always be wrong. Those memories are yours to share or not. As long as there was no lingering trauma, you got over it, and your present partner will never know about it. : 15 painfully embarrassing things that happen during sex]

8. You think one of their friends is hot

It’s alright to be attracted to one of their close friends. That is if you never intend to act on your attraction. If you do, that’s a distinct matter and should be addressed.

Just because you’re attracted to one of their friends isn’t a huge problem. Plus, telling your partner you think their friend is hot is a red flag. Don’t even think about keeping secrets in a relationship if you’re this insensitive. : What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

9. You weren’t initially attracted to them

Getting to know someone builds attraction. Mentioning that you were gradually drawn to your present partner is neither humorous nor beneficial to them. This information is outdated and harmful. You are with them now for a purpose, so don’t mention the growing attraction.

10. You’ve had better sex

You may have had better sex but this isn’t something you need to share. Plus, the sex with your past partner may have been amazing, but you lacked the connection you have with your new partner.

The point is, your partner doesn’t need to know they’re second or third best. This isn’t going to make them feel good about themselves, nor will it make your relationship stronger. things to talk about in a perfect relationship]

11. How many sexual encounters you’ve had

Listen, whether you’ve slept with two people or 200, no one needs to know this except for you. Of course, when it comes to STIs, you should tell them. This is something that could affect their own personal health.

But other than that, if you’re in a committed relationship with your partner, there’s no need to exchange the numbers of people you’ve slept with. The number doesn’t change anything. : How to talk about your past sexual experiences with your current partner]

12. A characteristic you don’t like that they can’t change 

If you don’t like a core characteristic they have, well, what are you going to do? Tell them that they don’t like something that they can’t change? And then what? Now, if you’re concerned about their weight, for example, these are things that can change but have to be encouraged positively.

Your partner is going to have quirks that you may not like, but that’s also why you love them. : Are you being selfish in your relationship?]

13. How you spend your money 

If you’re married to your partner and share expenses, naturally, how you handle your money may differ in some aspects depending on how you arrange it. You don’t need to explain every daily purchase you make throughout the day. This only adds anxiety and stress to a relationship.

But if you’re in debt, you should let them know.

14. You like specific things about your ex better than them 

Listen, there are qualities that our exes had that our current partners may not have. Every person is different. You’re with your current partner for different reasons.

But you don’t need to share qualities that you miss from your ex with your current partner. How do you think this would make them feel?

15. They need to lose weight

Sure, you wish your partner had a super flat and sexy stomach, we all do, but this isn’t something you need to share. You’re with your partner for a reason.

If the only thing bothering you is their body, well, maybe you need to find someone else because you don’t deserve them.

16. Lingering feelings for your ex

Oh god, this isn’t something you should do. In fact, this will only bring on insecurities in your partner. You don’t want that. Your ex may always have a place in your heart, but you don’t need to share this with your current partner.

If you’re unsure of what to do and unsure about your feelings, take some time and sort them out on your own. [Read: 10 clear signs your past relationship is holding you back in life]

17. Negative things your friends and family say about them 

If you repeat what your family or friends tell you about them, the next time you have a family dinner, they’re not going to come.

Negative reactions can be hurtful and hard to recover from. Once you tell them, the odds are they will distance themselves from your family and friends.

18. Psychological disorders

When people jokingly say you’re crazy, all you can do is smile and sip on your cup of coffee. Although this is something that should be discussed early on in the relationship, the stigma of having a diagnosed mental disorder still keeps people from admitting the truth.

For sure, it’s something you should discuss because you shouldn’t have to keep this secret, but you should share it when you’re ready and not before.

19. Gross habits you can’t stop doing

Oh, you know what those are. Picking on an ingrown hair, squeezing a blackhead, drinking out of the milk carton – the list goes on. But it’s so hard to stop!

20. How you really feel about the things they like 

Yes, that shirt looks so cool. I love football! This leather recliner in your basement in the middle of summer is so comfy! Lies, lies, lies!

It’s okay to keep your feelings inside for a while, because otherwise, you may end up pushing the other person away or hurting their feelings.

21. Family problems and what your friends are really like 

We’ve lived with our family since the day we were born. We know how it feels, so we’re not sure whether or not a significant other will want to join in on the crazy.

The same goes for friends; you love them to death, but they make you want to scream sometimes. Some of the things they do are not fit for public consumption, let alone your partner’s.

22. How often you’ve slept with people on the first date 

“I don’t usually do this on the first date.” Yeah, right.

The bottom line is it’s your business and nobody else’s. Opening up about this leaves you prone to being judged and you don’t deserve that.

23. When you want to get married

Honestly, any date that’s available in June is good for most of us women. For the men, it’s more of a question of if they want to marry. Okay, that’s a generalization, but if you’re too forward about your plans for the future, you might just scare them off.

24. Your blocked contacts list 

If they ever saw it, there would be so many questions! So many questions that we don’t have half the answers to.

25. What you looked like in high school and how you were

 No matter how good we looked, it was still in high school. It’s like your mom showing you how hot she looked wearing hot pink leg warmers and shoulder pads in her sweaters.

What we looked like doesn’t matter as much as who we were. If we were mean, that info’s going in the vault. If we were losers, that info’s going in there, too. Similarly, admitting who we dated in high school just leaves room for us to explain what happened when we were dating said people.

High school romances are not for the faint of heart.

26. Credit reports

When your partner realizes that they’re dating a shopaholic or someone on the IRS watchlist, that June wedding probably won’t materialize anytime soon.

As we mentioned earlier, you should probably talk about debt if it’s a real issue and things get serious, but at the start, you can keep your credit report to yourself.

27. The really serious stuff

Abortions, abusive ex-partners, traumatic experiences, etc. What matters is that some people need time to resolve themselves to opening up about these things with their partner in the present.

No matter what your secret is, just know that you should always be honest with yourself. Keeping things to yourself is okay, only if it’s not going to bite you on the ass one day. The secret that you’re keeping shouldn’t cause anyone harm, as well.

Content created and supplied by: TEXASbois (via Opera News )


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