1. I'm sure it works, Try again without the socks 2. Don't lie, you know you want me.3. Dad, how was I born?4. Hey girl, Are you made of copper and Tellurium? Because you're so cute.
5. If I ever become the boss of my own company...6. I already wan't to take a nap tomorrow.
6. When you are a vegan and haven't told anyone in 10 minutes....7. Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.8. not feline well? You need a purramedic.9. women should date men with beards...Because growing a beard takes patience - the kind of patience it takes to deal with your shit.10. I honestly thought my cat was a shampoo bottle for a solid 5 minutes.11. you are sadly mistaken if you think this will convince us to go outside in the rain to pee.12. Don't worry about what people think they don't do it very often.13. the fact that I procrastinate and still get shit done is the reason I still procrastinate.
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