Looking For What's Wrong
We tend to get more of what we pay attention to. We live in a world of our own making simply by choosing where we put our focus. Always looking for what's wrong in a person is a relationship killer. Noticing red flags is healthy early in a relationship, however getting hung up on the other person's harmless idiosyncrasies can spell trouble. Remind yourself why you like them and try to accept their flaws. No one is perfect afterall.
Expecting Your Partner To Think And Act Like You
Throughout our development, we form a lot of ideas about what a relationship is supposed to look like, often based on unrealistic standards. It's crucial that you give the person you are dating room to have their own opinions. When it comes to reconciling your differences, you have three solid choices, celebrate them, mitigate them or obliterate them. Fred Rodgers said it best " love isn't a state of perfect caring, it is an active noun, like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and right now." And yes, the struggle is real but it's also the most fulfilling.
Reading Into Everything
Assumptions are not helpful, they are projections of your own reality. Whether you are reading into the language of a text message, angry that your phone call doesn't get returned within an hour, or over thinking your last date ad nauseam, do yourself a favor and step away from the rumination. Obsessing over what everything means is one of the most common things that causes unnecessary anxiety at a time when dating is supposed to be fun.
Expecting Too Much Too Soon
Whether it's time spent together, constant communication throughout the day or some kind of communication that you're exclusive and aren't going to date other people, you've got to accept that everybody moves at their own pace for their own reasons. Sometimes one person is surer than the other and wants things things to move faster. This can be hard, but the best thing you can do for yourself in a situation like this is try slow down and manage your anxiety. It's quite common for a relationship to take some time before getting off the ground.
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