When we start dating someone new, there are often things that we promise ourselves we won't tolerate no matter what but, what about relarionship issues that aren't really or really shouldn't be deal breakers? Deal breakers often end up as the half-hearted excuses we use when things don't feel quite right, perhaps because "not quite right" can often mean "different." Different can be scary, but it can also be a great thing. Whenever I'm out of my comfort zone, I find myself making a million excuses to avoid the person or situation. It's human nature. Often, hearing about their so-called deal breakers makes me think that the entire idea of a deal breaker is pretty silly. However, we all have things that we just absolutely cannot handle in a boyfriend or girlfriend. I can't see myself ever making an exception for someone who doesn't like my dogs. As far as "I could never date someone shorter than me" or "I could never date someone who still lived at home" — well, never say never. Are there some problems you should work through? Yes, absolutely. However, if your deal breakers include things like "doesn't have green eyes" or anything else on the list below, then maybe you should reconsider what constitutes your idea of a deal breaker.
1. You Find Yourself Attracted To Someone Else
It's totally normal to feel a connection to someone else when you're in a relationship. Maybe you just hit it off with someone because you have a lot in common. I don't believe this means that you're inherently unhappy in your relationship or that you should break up with your significant other. What's actually a deal breaker is when you develop a deep emotional bond with this person and it turns into an actual crush or relationship. Fleeting attraction? It's human.
2. They've Got A Long List Of Exes
Everyone has a past and those pasts all look different. If your significant other has a laundry list of exes, don't let it turn you off — what matters should be their current intentions. If they had a crazy phase in varsity and burned through guys or girls, or had a string of one-night-stands, don't write them off just yet. It's all about what someone is looking for today, not what they were looking for six months ago.
3. They've Never Been In Love
First things first, everyone is different. Is it a little strange to be over the age of 30 and never experienced being in love? Maybe. However, does that necessarily mean that someone is incapable of love or doesn't want to fall in love? Not at all.
4. Your Partner Has Major Family Drama
Even if your significant other has no relationship whatsoever with this family, or a tumultuous one, it doesn't mean that your life is destined for the same. Sometimes, people with rough family lives end up even more committed to not repeating the past. So what do you do if you don't like your partner's family? Attempt to maintain some sort of positive relationship with his or her family, even if your partner doesn't. You don't have to love them — you just have to make it through a visit every now and then.
5. You Don't Have A Lot In Common
Maybe you fantasised about reading the same books as your partner, loving the same series and just generally finding your soulmate. I think this is very much a case-by-case basis sort of thing but, sometimes opposites attract and it just works. As long as you respect those differences and can agree on the major factors, you might be pleasantly surprised when you date someone out of your normal comfort zone. Give it a chance before you let a lack of common interests become a deal breaker.
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