Mom: wait, you're drunk again?
Me: who are you baby girl?
My girlfriend was telling me a story and she said, "For example let say you are handsome!"
The face you make when she picks your phone and goes through your WhatsApp messages but you know you've already cleaned the mess:
Me: "I'm sorry I forgot when your birthday was. When was it again?
My twin brother:
5. Never Trust Anyone:
A couple decides to commit suicide after going through a really hard tough time in life. So they both decided to jump off a 20 storey building to death. When they got to the topmost floor, they both agreed to count 1-3 and jump. On the 3rd count, the woman jumped but the man stayed. As the man watched the woman fall, he saw the woman pulling out a parachute to land safely. Question - who betrayed who?
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