On my boyfriend’s birthday, I posted him on social media wishing him the best of life and good health. Of course, I received a lot of comments from friends, wishing us well and telling us how good we look together. A friend I hadn’t met for so long messaged me that day. She asked, “Since when have you been with Noah?” The question that came to my mind was, “How is that an issue to discuss with someone I haven’t seen in so many years?” But I answered, “I’ve known him for a long time. Why? Is anything the issue?” She said, “No, not really. I was wondering if you really know him and the kind of person he is.” That got me curious. I asked her, “Do you know him? Is there anything you would like me to know about him?”
She read the messages but didn’t respond. I kept checking on her to see if she had responded. I even sent additional messages asking her to talk to me but she didn’t say anything. I didn’t have her number to call so when after a week or so I haven’t received a response to the messages I sent, I decided to ignore her and move on with the man in my life.
There's love that just appears out of thin air. Someone walks into your life and you have no memory of him or his actions. You run into him again the next day, and he informs you, "It appears that I recognize you from somewhere." Isn't it true that you weren't the girl I met at so-and- so's? Do you remember what happened? You were dressed in a red shirt with a white skirt on that particular day. When we met, you were holding a file in your hand and mounting the stairs. I introduced myself, and you introduced yourselves. "Do you remember what happened?" You recall wearing your red top and your white skirt separately, but you have no recollection of wearing them together on the same day. The amount of men you've said hello to on those stairs makes you think, "There are too many to remember who is who." You tell yourself, "There are too many to remember who is who." To avoid making him feel horrible about himself for not remembering the encounter he was recounting, you play along and say things like "Oh, yeah, I remember that." I recall the experience vividly, though some of the specifics have slipped my mind. How are you doing? "It's great to see you again."
The greeting "It's good to see you again" develops into a conversation. The conversation comes to a close with an exchange of contact information. A date is set up as a result of the exchange of contacts. After a couple of dates, you realize that you like him in the same manner that he says he likes you, and you agree to his marriage proposal. No, not in the strictest sense. "Anyway, let's see how it goes," you might say, or something similar. Take a chance and see where the currents take us." You give love a second opportunity because you recognized something you liked in him. You've discovered something about him that makes him deserving of your affection. That is the way our love story unfolds. It seemed to appear out of nowhere. His initial impression of me was a fragrance on the stairwell, which evolved into a blazing fire when he proposed to me later that night.
So when I told a friend of mine that I'd known Noah for a very long time, I wasn't telling the whole truth about our relationship. My friend introduced me to him, and I fell in love with him. When my friend asked me that question, we had only been dating for a year and a half. When she didn't respond to my messages, I snapped a picture of her and gave it to Noah, asking, "Do you recognize this girl?" He took a glance at the photograph. He snatched the phone from my grasp and studied it intently for a moment. "Is that the only photo you have of her?" he inquired. "Is that the only photo you have of her?" he replied. As a result, I went to her Facebook profile and copied another photo, which I then showed him. "No, she doesn't look like someone I'm familiar with," he stated. I would have remembered her if I had met her." "It appears that she is familiar with you," I said. "She inquired as to your whereabouts."
I received a text message from that friend the next morning. She finally responded to my mails after a long period of time. "I'm asking you that question because I'm quite familiar with that individual," she explained. He had a relationship with my cousin, which turned sour later on. If he's your partner, you should exercise caution because he's a dangerous individual."
"Can you tell me what this girl is talking about? Noah and I have been dating for a year. There hasn't been a single instance in which he displayed any signs of aggressiveness or threat in any manner. When I'm with him, on the contrary, I feel safe and protected. "Can you tell me what she's talking about?"
When I inquired about her cousin's name, she said, "Anna." I inquired as to what transpired between him and Anna to make him so deadly. "Go and ask him," she instructed me. If he's sincere, he'll tell you the truth about himself. The only thing I can advise is to exercise caution. He has the potential to be really dangerous."
The manner in which she was conveying the facts was quite irritating. She was ready to call him names, but she wasn't prepared to explain why she believed he was a danger to herself or others. "Why should I bother asking him? I was under the impression you were telling me everything, so I proceed with caution around him. Why don't you just come right out and tell everything? You're making me feel anxious and afraid for no apparent reason. Just go ahead and do it. Everything should be said. I believe what you're saying. If my life is in danger, I'll be able to deal with it from where I'm standing." The more I spoke with her about him, the more I pleaded with her to tell me everything she knew about him. "I've told you about my cousin Anna," this young lady said over and over. Inquire as to whether he is acquainted with Anna. If he refuses to give you the truth, it is likely that he is concealing a significant portion of his past from you. "Take precautions."
I chuckled and stepped away from the table. She was just wasting her time, to be honest. "If there was something she wanted to talk about, she could have stated it on the first day." Allow me to simply forget about her and go about my business. After all, Noah hasn't been much more than a boyfriend up to this point. A certain function in my life is played by him, and he performs that duty very effortlessly and flawlessly, as a result. That's perfectly OK to me. Whatever transpired between him and Anna is unquestionably a part of his past. "I'm not going to hold it against him," I reassured myself.
As a result, I didn't bring up the subject of Anna with him for a long time. We were in the middle of a chat about the events of our past lives when I suddenly had the impulse to ask him a question regarding Anna. The question, on the other hand, came out of nowhere. "Do you still communicate with Anna?" I inquired. "Can you tell me who Anna is?" he inquired. "You haven't had a relationship with somebody named Anna?" I inquired.
His demeanor shifted. He went from having a good time to becoming protective in a matter of seconds.
"Can you tell me how you found out about Anna?"
"Do you recall that girl I showed you her image the other time? Do you remember who she is?" They are cousins, and she is Anna's cousin. "She told me," I said.
"And what did she have to say about Anna and me?"
"She merely mentioned your name and urged me to contact you to get the remainder of the tale," I explained. "Does anything seem to be wrong?"
"You mean to say she only mentioned Anna and didn't go on to tell you what happened between me and Anna?" "Do you mean to say she only mentioned Anna and didn't go on to tell you what happened between me and Anna?"
"She claimed you had a relationship with her. That's all there is to it. She also stated that things did not go well between you two. And she told me that I should come to you for the rest of the narrative."
He was deafeningly quiet. I couldn't tell if he was thinking about something or not because he was so quiet. "Noah, what exactly is the problem? What exactly happened that you don't want me to know about? "You even appear to be upset." "Anna is an ex-girlfriend," he said gently. We had been dating for three years when we decided to call it quits. That's all there is to it. The only problem was that the breakup was a shambles. "I'm at a loss for words."
As a result, I sent another message to that friend, saying, "I've spoken with him. He claimed that Anna is just a woman he had a brief relationship with and then ended up breaking up with. "That's all he told me," I said. "How come he didn't mention that he ended up in prison?" she inquired. Where did he spend the next two weeks as his family paid bribes to the police in order to get the case dismissed? "He didn't say anything like that?" "Really?" I exclaimed. Is that what transpired, then? How? Why?” "He was abusive," she explained in further detail. At first, there was no physical manifestation. It was a verbal exchange. After that, it progressed to emotional abusing. He smacked Anna in the face one day because she hadn't responded to his messages soon enough. He smacked her another time because she was on the phone with another guy in his presence while he was talking to her. That gentleman happened to be Anna's cousin. He beat her whenever he got the chance, and frequently without provocation, leading Anna to decide to leave. She communicated her decision to end the relationship by text message. He read the note and subsequently enticed Anna to his home, where he locked her up and beaten her until she changed her mind about staying. He held her in his room for two days, verbally harassing her and telling her she had two choices: alter her mind or be imprisoned in his room indefinitely. As a result, Anna accepted to continue her relationship with him and promised that she would never leave him. When he freed her, Anna rushed to the police station to file a complaint against him, and he was arrested."
"No, Noah isn't going to do that," I said in my brain. Noah is not my Noah. Over the course of more than a year, I've never seen him act aggressively toward me or any other person. He's an all-around kind man. That may have been him when he was younger. You are aware that individuals change. Three years has passed since he made the decision to change his life. Maybe I'm having a better version of Noah than everyone else. He's unquestionably preferable than a boy who abuses his female companion."
Anything I could do to persuade myself that Noah had changed was worthwhile.
I didn't want to confront him with the question. I wanted to keep it a secret until he was ready to talk about it publicly himself. But I couldn't because I couldn't. I gave it some thought. I began to evaluate his movements. I began to perceive him in a different light. The moment he started screaming on the phone, I thought to myself, "Okay, he hasn't changed. The only thing he's hiding behind is a mask." When he disagreed with me on petty issues, I remembered what the girl had told me and became apprehensive about him. So finally I asked him, “Noah, you were arrested because of Anna. What really happened?”
He said, “It’s a long story. I don’t want to visit the past. It brings me bad vibes. Everything that happened in that relationship hurts to think about it. But yes, I went to the cells for it which I shouldn’t have. Let’s not talk about it please.” I pressed, “Did you abuse her? Verbally? Physically? You beat her often?” He answered, “I didn’t do any of these.” I said, “You didn’t lock her up in your place for two days?” He answered, “It’s all in the past now. Don’t let us visit the past like that. The girl who gave you that information is lying. I only don’t want to go into details but she’s lying. Let’s leave it there.”
We left it there but I’m worried. I think about it very often. Now, I shrink around him so I don’t make a mistake. When I do something and he gets angry, I get scared. I don’t even visit him until I’m sure he’s no longer angry. It looks like I’m unconsciously and consciously judging him, thinking he’ll get worse and do the same thing to me, especially when he’s not forthcoming with the truth. Is that a reason enough to walk out? How long should I wait and see what happens? I believe what the girl told me because of his demeanor when he was talking about it. You see he’s guilty from the way he kept hiding the details but would he do it again? If he beat his girlfriend three years ago, is it likely for me to suffer the same fate in his hands?
It was all fine when I didn’t know this story. I got to know it and now I’m not fine even when he hadn’t done anything to me. It’s only a year. This love will get old at some point and I’m scared that’s the point his true colors would seep through the cracks. What should I do?
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