In this article, I am going to talk about the signs that you might be a people pleaser. In case you don't know what a people pleaser is, it is someone who views himself based on what other people think of him. Yes, people-pleasers are liked by everyone but the problem is that they always get taken advantage of. In this article, l will help you reflect on yourself whether you are a people pleaser or not.
1. You avoid conflict
A people pleaser doesn't speak his mind because he doesn't want to upset anyone. He just wants to get along with everyone. It is a good thing to not go around searching for conflict but avoiding it at all costs is a bad thing. A conflict is what makes any relationship stronger. How can you connect with someone on a deeper level when they always agree with you on everything. You can never know who they are. A people pleaser is afraid to rock the boat. He doesn't speak unless he has something nice to say.
2. You can't say no
You are allergic to saying no. You think that other people's needs come before your own. There are exploiters out there who like to take advantage of weak people. The problem with people pleasers is that they want to be liked by everyone. They need validation from others. You can never achieve your goals if you are trying to please everyone. You don't have to be rude. You can always say no politely.
3. You believe that you are responsible for other people's happiness
A people pleaser gets uncomfortable when someone is angry at them. They believe that they are responsible for other people's emotions. You need to understand that the only emotions you are responsible for are your own. Don't believe that you can make another person angry. It has been planted in our minds from childhood that we are responsible for other people's feelings. When I was young my stepdad used to tell me this "look your mother is angry because of you or your mother has high blood pressure because of you".
4. You bottle your emotions
Again, from childhood, we were made to believe that certain emotions should never be expressed. Anger was never allowed in my family. I was often told that " you should never raise your voice when you talk to me". Emotions are neither right nor wrong, they just are. You should express your anger and of course in a respectful way.
5. You don't have any real personality
You have a problem with being who you are. Your personality changes depending on who you are talking to. You fear that people will judge you if you express your authentic self. So you'd rather be what others expect you to be. You behave just like everyone around you so that you can be liked. You are just afraid to be different.
6. You are always sorry
You always apologize for things that are not even your fault. You just want to make sure that no one is angry with you.
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