Because of the circumstances surrounding them, marrying a single man or woman is not the same as marrying a man or woman who has previously been married before you met him or her. Their levels of experience, for example, differ. There's nothing wrong with marrying a man or woman who left his or her marriage for reasons only he or she knows about.
However, you should not rush into saying "Yes, I do" to a divorcee without first thinking about it. Before deciding to marry him or her, careful thinking, appraisal, and consideration of specific aspects are required.
The following are some critical considerations you should make before marrying a divorcee to avoid future "had I known" situations.
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1. What caused his/her marriage to terminate. You must first have accurate knowledge about what caused his or her last marriage to end. To accomplish this, you must ask pertinent questions to avoid marrying someone blindly. You should not inquire of him/her because you are unlikely to obtain first-hand information about what actually occurred. Why should you be concerned? So as not to repeat the mistakes of his or her previous marriage. History has an uncanny ability to repeat itself.
2. His or her ex-wife or husband's relationship status. You must know whether the ex-husband or wife has remarried or is still single. Why is this required? To avoid any potential confrontation with the former wife/husband, especially if they have unfinished business. You don't want to be caught in the middle of one of them. If the ex wife/husband does not want anyone to marry the ex partner, he/she may make life difficult for you in the marriage. Only when the ex spouse is already married can you be at ease and truly at peace.
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3. The degree to which the children accept you.
If he or she has children, you should find out whether they want you to be their father or mother. If the children don't want you in their parent's life, no matter how much the person you're about to marry loves you, you'll have a lot of problems with them. Their approval of your marriage to the father/mother is necessary for your peace of mind. It's far too dangerous to try.
4. His or her children's ages and who they reside with. You should also think about the age of the children (if any) and who they reside with. Will you be able to cope if they live with the guy or woman you want to marry? Will you care for them as if they were your own children? Will you love them as much as you love their mother or father? You must be completely honest with yourself. If you can't fully embrace them into your life, you'll have problems with your future spouse when you are married, because he or she won't give you their all if you don't care about the kids.
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