Have you been so hurt in your relationships that you have sworn never to love again? Has your heart been broken and shattered by someone you completely trusted?
I had suffered a lot at the hands of a girl at the beginning of my search for true love. As soon as we met, she presented me with a myriad of fake conditions that seemed pathetic. She tricked me into believing that she had many family challenges ranging from her mother being bedridden in her village to facing imminent eviction from her apartment by the landlord.
I saw myself as an envoy of God for her and I did all I could to support her. I paid the rent on his house for twelve straight months. I put food on his table. I covered her nudity and constantly paid her sick mother's medical bills.
On the rare occasion that the animal in me would stand up to ask for sex, my conscience would tell me that it would look like I was helping because of the intimacy . I never deliberately hurt her for any reason.
At one point, despite her challenges, I was focusing on proposing to her. But along the line, I began to feel pressure because my financial reserve was rapidly depleting. And to make matters worse, I was fired from my job. I lost my job.
Unbelievably, when my girl found out about this, she started her tactical withdrawal plan. When things were going well, she used to come visit with virtually no notice with one problem or another. And she would do her best to provide a solution (s).
But like then, she appeared at my house once in a blue moon with a variety of excuses. She was doing laundry all day! I went to the market and got tired a lot after, etc. She wouldn't worry about me anymore. I became a nullity to her. I became an idiot for her. And finally, she disappeared.
He was deeply depressed. And I fell in love in a coma for six months. When I woke up from that coma, I decided there was no way I would ever love again. Surprisingly, statistics from around the world show that he was not alone.
Many men and women have been abused or mistreated in their relationships that they had sworn never to love again. But what I have discovered is that no man is an island. It is love that makes the world go round.
I could imagine if it had worked between the two of us, how blissful that would have been: loving each other so tenderly and experiencing the kind of relationships we had dreamed of together. I had 3 key things I did to help myself get out of that pit of pain and get back into the spotlight of love.
Forgive and Forget:
I discovered that the only way to move forward in life and especially in relationships is to free myself from myself and my ex by forgiving and forgetting.
It wasn't easy, I must confess, but I had to put in that deliberate effort to make it happen. And I can tell you that it was actually rewarding.
Focus on future relationships:
Yesterday was history and it is important that you focus on the present and the future. That experience helped me learn a lot.
It helped me re-evaluate my values and set the boundaries of my relationship more appropriately.
Focus on your passion:
What are you good at? Or what do you want to be good at? This has a lot to do with self-love. What makes you happy?
I rediscovered my passion, and that is helping people get out of the challenges of their relationships.
I have so much fun doing it! Love is worth reigniting no matter how many times you've been disappointed and heartbroken. Open your eyes to see and fall in love with the person worthy of your love.
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