When you’re in a new relationship, some things are better left unsaid, at least for the meantime. Here are the 4 topics you should avoid at all costs.
things to avoid talking about in a new relationship
It’s understandable that when you first start dating someone, you want to know everything about them. They probably feel the same way. The best part about dating someone new is getting to know that person until you both grow to like each other more.
What should you talk about when you first start dating?
First dates are usually accompanied by questions surrounding your work, goals and general interests. You discuss what you do at work. You can tell them about your hobbies and interests. They may also be interested in your family and where you grew up.
These questions can reveal a lot about a person. A person’s character can be judged not just by what they do, but also by how they feel about what they are doing. Their willingness to reveal small personal details like stuff about their family is also a good sign.
When those subjects are exhausted, people move on to different topics. Depending on the flow of the conversation, this could cover political and religious views, opinions on pop culture or childhood memories. The possibilities of a wonderful conversation, truly, are endless!
What personal questions can you discuss in a new relationship?
Aside from the subjects mentioned above, you can start learning more about your partner on a deeper level by gradually asking sensitive questions that are necessary to build a solid foundation for a new relationship.
#1 The need-to-know stuff. If you have a kid, tell them immediately. If religion is important to your or them, discuss it immediately. If you own twenty dogs, add it to the conversation. If you’ve been to jail or done drugs, squeeze it in between dessert.
It’s only fair to tell them these facts because these things will affect them once the relationship becomes more serious. These things are extremely important because they require immediate reactions. You can’t surprise your date with a child or say, “Oops, I can’t eat pork” three months into the relationship.
#2 The recent ex. The ex seems like a touchy subject, but the truth is that talking about the recent ex is necessary to build trust. You can ask them why they broke up and their answer will give you more insight on the future of your own relationship.
People who don’t want to talk about the ex or those who tear up or melt down when asked are the ones to watch out for. That sort of reaction shows that the past relationship, although denounced as over, is really not. What you’re looking for is a simple and resigned answer. The details should not be hashed out especially if the memory was not a happy one.
#3 General topics about the future. You can ask them about their dreams. People who know what they want in life are admirable. People who know what they want and how to get it are remarkable. If you are looking for a serious relationship that can last a lifetime, the answer to these sorts of questions will give you a glimpse of the possible future.
Take note that you are gaining insight on their future and your possible part in it. Asking about it is fine, but asking about your part in their future at such an early stage is definitely a no-no.
#4 Schedules. Don’t take out your calendar to mark your future dates in. What you want to know is how your schedule can match up with your partner’s. This can also open up the conversation towards random interests that both of you engage in during the work week.
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