There are a few things that parents should stop saying to their children. They include;
1. Do not compare your children. For example: “Why don't you look more like…” and “Look, your brother is cleaning HIS room, why don't you clean his own room?” etc. Comparison is not a good thing to say to your kids.
2. Never tell a child that he is performing poorly. As a parent, you need to know the reason for your child's poor performance before you say anything. And if they know the reason, they should choose to work accordingly.
3. "Shame on you" (Children should be corrected for certain actions without implying that the essence of their entire identity and being is shameful).
4. Never say 'not now' when your child approaches you to talk. The child may never repeat the same thing and everything your child says should always be the most important thing.
5. "What's wrong with you?" (If a parent or adult thinks that there is a problem with the child's behavior, they should tell the child what the problem is and not expect the child to read his mind. Also, the way the question is phrased indicates that the question is not correct. In any case, a certain behavior means that something is wrong with the child, that his whole being is something This is not something the child can work on, because it is too big, too uncertain, and if the child is inherently bad, why should I try to be better? Such words discourage the child.)
6. "The only thing you need to be good at is education". Being hardworking may land your child a job in the future, but how they perform is a product of not only their experiences or understandings in life, but also how they handle their emotions.
7. "Do whatever you want."
Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of encouragement and self-actualization. However, I have a problem with this particular sentence (and I've heard it a lot).
You see, that's not true. We live in a society, in a community, and that means there are certain written and unwritten rules we have to follow. "Be yourself" is a great message, not "be yourself and don't care about anyone else". When you tell a child they can do anything, you let them see the difference, and this often leads to failure and harmful practices.
"Do whatever you want" is a dangerous message. It's not empowering, it's not encouraging, it's not accepting, it's just wrong.
Thank you for reading!!
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