As a new parent, you may find yourself comparing notes with other parents when you first begin your parenting adventure. When this happens, you may find yourself wondering why another child began walking before your own child, or becoming concerned because other children began talking before your own child. Rather of monitoring and documenting your child's growth and development, you are comparing and judging them for being different from other children.
When you compare your child to his or her siblings or to other children in general, you lose sight of what distinguishes your child as distinct and unique. Some parents believe that their children will wish to change who they are as a result of the contrast. There are several reasons why this is a bad parenting strategy:
1. It has a negative impact on your child's self-esteem.
Your children are constantly striving for your approval, and when they fail to obtain it despite their best efforts, they become frustrated and begin to doubt their own abilities. Then they begin to believe that everyone else is better than they are, that they lack talent, and they begin to compare themselves to others as well. It is the parent's responsibility to recognize that every child is unique, but that this is not a bad thing; rather, it is what makes them unique.
2. Feelings of resentment for other children
Your child may eventually cease being friends with other children because you have constantly compared them to others to the point that they have acquired animosity and jealously towards other children, even if they are their own siblings. This is due to the fact that he is constantly informed that other children are superior to him.
3. Withdrawal from social and emotional situations
In the event that youngsters become tired of being compared, they begin to distance themselves from their parents (particularly the parent who makes the comparison) and their peers. During this stage, the youngster has fully abandoned any hope of gaining your favor and has completely stopped caring. Never, ever put your children in this situation.
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